Not the Day

the night is yawning
into view
letting the darkness all seep through
a new love was dawning, not it's gone
i should have known it all along
i'm always used to messing up...

as the wind blows i can feel you shake
you and me, we start to bend and quake
there's fear for it to break
and it's all my doing.....
yeah, you are my prince charming, but
today's not good for perfect endings...

your wrath, i fear
i wipe a tear
from my crude guilt-ridden face
i'm ruining out chances
just forget all our romances
it's all my fault..
i'm willing to take this blame

as the wind blows i feel you shake
you and me, we start to bend and quake
there's fear for it to break
and it's all my doing.....
yeah, you are my prince charming, but
today's not good for perfect endings...

no use, i've tried, forget it
i'm killing you as you kill me
i've borne the truth, it's out, just leave it
turn away
it's what you want
just let me die alone...

as the wind blows i feel you shake.........
you and me, we start to bend and quake
there's fear for it to break
and it's all my doing.....
yeah, you are my prince charming, but
today's not good for perfect endings............................

wallowing - leave me alone

today has been interesting to say the least....and i can't decide whether or not i've enjoyed it.

wait a minute....no, i haven't enjoyed it. in fact, now that i gather time to pause and ponder, on a whole i've hated it.

i woke up five times last night, it's freezing in this pissing house, and i didn't eat breakfast. church felt like it went on for an eternity, when i got home i was colder than i had been outside, i ended up with more homework than i thought i had, and i'm bad at playing my flute from hell. i started to get a huge migraine so i took my contacts out; therefore, making me resort to glasses which i despise. my parents ignore me, my brother didn't get lost and forgotten in washington d.c. as i had so selfishly--yet understandably--wished, and andy hasn't called.

what i wanted the day to entail? in real world, i wanted a warm day, with breakfast, where i suddenly was able to play the tryout piece for band on my flute. i wanted my brother to dissappear in his room so that i wouldn't have to even hear him, my parents to maintain their distance, and for andy to call me and find some way to hang out this after noon. is that so much to ask for?

in fantasy world, i wish it were yesterday, that way i could sleep in and know that i still have sunday to laze about.

this has been such a crappy day, i even decided not to capitalize anything in this entire blog. not that it makes me mad....it's my attempt at rebellion.

i hate sundays.....and nobody can change my mood.

.....i might as well wallow..