Losing Myself

it's frustrating that no one at home knows how hard it is for me having to go back and forth from athens and st. marys. i come back and i'm depressed, and i can't laze around and relax and do whatever i want - i have school work waiting at all times. and everyone else back home gets to keep on doing what they've always been doing. mom and dad bring tom home from church, take naps, eat, watch tv together. trent goes and visits his buddies as he pleases, doesn't have to deal with being dragged back to a place that only makes him miserable.

everyone at home gets what they want.

and i get taken away from everything i want.

i don't like being self-indulgent, selfish, or stubborn. but this is just really unfair.

and so when trent tells me he's with rob, who i already know doesn't like me at all and wishes i wasn't with trent, i get angry and jealous.

angry that rob gets trent when i want him most. and jealous that they don't have to deal with this shit.

another 2 emotions i hate.

...i don't even know myself anymore..