It Makes me Wonder

the way you look at me
is it really me you see
or am i overlooked
as usual
and all those little winks
you're such a flirt
so i've heard
you've left me just standing here
without words just a prayer
that maybe you'll see
that maybe there really is something there

and oh it makes me wonder
am i that girl that you're looking for
can you be that one knockin at my door
and oh what you do to me..
lean in a little closer
tell me i'm not crazy...

maybe i'm mistaken
by the little laughs
innocent smiles
but maybe i'm not
it confuses me the way you act
so now what is it you want
and is it something
i can provide....

and oh it makes me wonder
am i that girl that you're looking for
can you be that one knockin at my door
and oh what you do to me..
lean in a little closer
tell me i'm not crazy...

it's been weeks and weeks
leading me on
what else am i to do
than to wait on you....

and oh it makes me wonder
am i that girl that you're looking for
can you be that one knockin at my door
and oh what you do to me..
lean in a little closer
and tell me i'm not crazy

Schoooolll and various

so
school started
and this being my SENIOR YEAR
that's a pretty big deal.

it's been weird, realizing these are the last memories i'll have of st. marys, the last memories i'll be making of high school. it kinda freaks me out actually...

three days in, and i'm doin ok though. some classes i feel will turn out to be a bitch (AP chem) but i think that's be alright. i have like all the same ppl that follow me around all day, since i have 4 AP classes, so that's pretty cool.

i'll tell ya what though...i miss brandon. like, when i'm bored, or when ppl don't call me to hang out or i feel like i need to talk to someone, i realize how much i miss him. some ppl laugh at me and refuse to take me seriously, but i do. i miss him.

on a lighter note.....i got a homecoming dress today. black and blue...funny, i always end up with a black dress. or not always, but a lot of the time. but this one is pretty awesome so it's ok lol. problem is i totally don't have a date. and the person i WANT to go with........well, i just don't know. him and his ex are in a weird place right now, and besides, who said he ever really liked me in the first place? irrelevent, i need to get a date. i've still got about a month, but it's something i'm gonna have to think about here soon.

hmm.....and the concert was pretty cool. i really liked papa roach.
i need to go do some college ap. stuff...bah.

I get to see

a concert tomorrow night.
hinder, buckcherry, and papa roach.

how excited am i? i can't even stand it!!!!

and right before school starts, it's a nice intro into the final days of high school, no?

My Wish

i wish you knew
the beating of my heart
so many words i have to say
with no way to start
i wish you knew
the song inside of me
singing constantly for you
if there was someway you could know...

cuz there's this knot buried in me
all tied up with thoughts you can not see
if i could unzip my soul
just to show to you
what a resolution that would be

oooh i wish you knew
i wish you knew
i wish you knew
about this mystery inside me.....

i wish you knew
my breathing quickens next to you
and the way you smile
terrifies the hell outta me
but i wish you knew
this complicated mess
it's all distress and blissfulness..

cuz there's this knot buried in me
all tied up with thoughts you can not see
if i could unzip my soul
just to show you
what a resolution that would be

ooh i wish you knew
i wish you knew
i wish you knew
about this mystery inside of me.....

i'm choked up
and i can't say no
and i don't know what to do
oh i wish you knew
cuz it's hard to know what you're thinking
i know what i'm thinking....

cuz there is this knot buried in me
all tied up with thoughts you can not see
if i could unzip my soul
just to show you
what a resolution that would be

oh i wish you knew
i wish you knew
i wish you knew
what i know..
about this mystery
in me...

I'm happy cuz

we talked tonite.
not about u know, the whole
i like u and i just wanted to let u know that-
bit
but we just talked.
about hula-hoops actually.
and tilta-whirls.
but u know, it was conversation.
and he's so gorgeous.
and i'm thinking that maybe
just possibly
in a world not so far away
he might like me back
and maybe
we could....ya know..
see what could happen?
if he knows i like him and stands and flirts with me for 10 minutes anyways
then that's gotta be good.
yeah...
that's a good sign.
hmmmm...sigh.
his eyes are just amazing.

La La La..

so omg it's been awhile!!!

hmm...august 11th. let's see, since the last time i wrote, a LOT has happened...lol.

fair was last week. it was real hott. and sweaty. but it was still fun i guess........lots of being there and dealing with the animals. except i didn't have to show this year so i guess that was an upside.

pageant was this past weekend. and..............................I GOT 1ST RUNNER UP!!!! i was soo pumped about it, i can't even put into words how excited i was/still am.

tonite was the first real nite of the fest, so me marissa, brandy, lauren and rachel all ran around with our sashes to random places, begging for free food and acting like complete fools. i don't know if i've ever had so much fun at summerfest. :)

but so....i guess that my crush guy knows that i like him.......and i don't know how he found out. and i'm kinda freakin out, cuz you know, i don't know what to say!! or if i should bring it up or keep flirting with him like i always do. it's so confusing. but when i saw him this evening, he smiled really big at me...winked. so maybe this isn't such a bad thing.....god i hope not. i hope i can stay normal long enough while i'm talking to him sometime to maybe figure things out..talk about hanging out sometime maybe..who knows.

OOOO and my brother got guitar hero. and i've fallen in love with it. becuz it's awesome. and i'm gettin good at it too!! which is cool, since i'm bad at all things video game. oh well...

anywho, i've got summerfest stuff all weekend, which should be fun, i've got a kid games thing tomorrow morning til like noon, watching a band play, parade at 4, back at the fest by 7. should be plenty excitement i guess lol.

hmmmm........i hope he likes me back...