Spring Break !!!!!!!! Finally..

sooooooooooooooooo i am homeeeee !!

the last week of classes flew by, and with the help of trent coming to visit (he's such a sweet guy) my weekend flew by too. finals *i hope* went well, and I MOVED HOME.

and i scheduled my classes for next quarter at osu, so i'm ready to be a buckeye :)

i can't even put into words how great it is to know that i'm here at my house with my stuff and my family and i don't have to leave until i want to.

...it's spring. things are turning green. and i get to see my baby :)

i'm happy.

Sitting, Waiting..

welllll it's the last week of classes :)

tomorrow is my last day of journalism and dance class. we're doing our project presentation on the zulu tribe - and i'm hoping to God that it goes half-way decent.

and i finished my research paper, so i'll turn that in tomorrow too. but other than that, i don't have much to do until....hmm. well, until i feel like studying latin for my exam on monday.

aaand considering i already got an A in my geology class, i'm not taking the exam !!! one less thing to do i guess.

all i have to do is get through the weekend without being bored, anxious, impatient, or cleaning up megan's puke and i'll be good. hah.

oh but i'm so excited about next wednesday. packing all this shit up and moving back where i wanna be. WHY CAN'T IT COME FASTER??????

Losing Myself

it's frustrating that no one at home knows how hard it is for me having to go back and forth from athens and st. marys. i come back and i'm depressed, and i can't laze around and relax and do whatever i want - i have school work waiting at all times. and everyone else back home gets to keep on doing what they've always been doing. mom and dad bring tom home from church, take naps, eat, watch tv together. trent goes and visits his buddies as he pleases, doesn't have to deal with being dragged back to a place that only makes him miserable.

everyone at home gets what they want.

and i get taken away from everything i want.

i don't like being self-indulgent, selfish, or stubborn. but this is just really unfair.

and so when trent tells me he's with rob, who i already know doesn't like me at all and wishes i wasn't with trent, i get angry and jealous.

angry that rob gets trent when i want him most. and jealous that they don't have to deal with this shit.

another 2 emotions i hate.

...i don't even know myself anymore..