What if..

I hate having to question myself. Because, all that does is make for misgivings and depression. I mean, having to rethink, replan, and revision.......it's stressful on several levels.

You first think about your past. You think about your mistakes, things you could have done better. Maybe you think about decisions you have made that could have, now thinking back, been handled differently. Then you look at things as they are in the present. The pros, the cons, the so-so's, and the down-right "well-that-just-sucks" factors. And after viewing all these, you come to the worst of revelations : you resort to thinking about the future, and you start using "what if".

OMG I HATE THAT PHRASE. WHAT IF.....THAT SUBJECTS TO NOTHING BESIDES ITSELF, AND ALTHOUGH IT IS IMAGINARY, I HATE IT. THIS IS PROBABLY WHERE MOST DOUBT IN GENERAL COMES FROM. ARGG....I HATE IT.....

What if I did this differently.....what if I stayed the same......what if I didn't eat that hamburger....the list goes on and on. This is where the danger is.

Sometimes, once done with the what if-ing, you reflect upon your happiest moments...and you pretty much convince yourself that all is good in the world, that nothing could be better, and that you are happy again.

But pretty much convinced is all most anyone gets....we still doubt, we still wonder, and we still beg the question....

What if....