This May not Make Sense to Anyone but Me, But hey, Oh well..

Have you ever known someone who completed you? Who seemed to be your other half, who really made you feel at home? When I'm with Andy, I know who I am. I know what I want. Things become clear.

Everything seems so surreal today. Inside there are dark tempests and storms clouds threatening to burst. That feeling when your dog dies, or your best friend moves away. That feeling of being put in a room full of strangers and not knowing anyone around, feeling lost.

Lost. That's the word.

Outside the sun is shining, a light summery breeze is wisping through the trees, and all is gorgeous. There's a feeling in the air, a scent of promise, a smirk of a secret that I'm not yet allowed to know.

The honest feeling I have is undescribable...as much as I've thought in the past 24 hours, there are no real words to describe in truth what my heart, my soul, my being if feeling.

But I'm sure of one thing. And that is what I'm going to do. How it will be accepted, if it will be accepted, I don't know. But I know what I need, what I want. I know deep down what to do.

Maybe that's what is so surreal about today. I feel so unsure and upset, and yet so confident in what has to be done.

And a song keeps playing over and over in my head....Transatlanticism..by Death Cab for Cutie..

"I need you so much closer..........so come on..."