To you

I hate how you control me
With a simple fleeting glance
And a kind word after we fight.
I hate how I try to leave you -
Moving away from all our memories,
Abandoning all I thought was good,
Dismissing my instincts.
I hate how then, once I think my mind is set,
You smile
And I'm taken back 2 years in the past
When I first fell in love.
I hate how I am so tortured
So indescribingly mezmorized by you
Yet devastated knowing we can never be.
I hate how the fates tempt me,
Only to laugh in jest at my failed attempts
To win your heart again.
I hate how you're free of me
Because it's proving hard to rid my mind of your memory
After all these years.
I hate having to believe you when you say goodbye,
Because it truly could be the last goodbye....