Christmas season

i like it when i get on a kick of writing a lot.
that way when i look back and think about the past i have sort of guidelines.
BUT i've slacked. again. it sure has been awhile.

the whole cute boy thing is lost. he didn't feel the same, but it's ok since it's not like i was head-over-heels about him. so i'm by myself. during the holidays. which is a first for me, seeing as for the past three years i've always had a special someone this time of year. it kinda depresses me in a minimal way, you know, no one to snuggle with, kiss when the clock strikes twelve, so on and so forth. i'll deal. the whole dream of escaping away to college just keeps getting closer and closer and i honestly think that's the only thing getting me through.

i have been feeling lonely though. not for guys, although that would be nice, but for friends plain and simple. most of them seem to ignore and forget me more often than not and it's disheartening to the highest degree. like i said though, with OU looming closer into view, i've been trying to be as positive as possible.

my cousin natalie got engaged a couple weeks ago. chad hardy. they're adorable together, and i'm really excited about helping her plan the wedding. nowadays when i see her, she's just glowing. she's so happy and it's definitely contagious. this of course gives me more hope for my college years and another reason to want to make these months go by faster.

on a lighter note, i went to see sweeney todd last night. starring my dreamboat johnny depp, this musical by sondheim is about a barber who, looking for revenge, comes back to london after escaping prison (incarcerated under false accusations) and becomes a barber who slits his customers' throats. his mistress downstairs in turn takes the bodies and turns them into meat pies. it's quite gruesome, and yet while the slicing of jugulars and spurting of blood was in a way revolting, demonic, and morbid, it was funny? i dunno, just the way they made it i laughed. but it was brilliant. pry my new favorite movie. ever. johnny has an amazing singing voice, and with the big-name cast behind him, this movie was funny, moving, disturbing, and amazing. i encourage everyone to go see it. heck. i wanna see it again.

sooooooo yeah.
oh and christmas was good. i got my ipod which is sweet. and i played at a church in knoxville christmas eve, and it was a beautiful service. it was just all in all a very happy holiday time. so far. hah.

So supposedly

he knows that i like him. i guess someone told him one day in english class (how romantic can it get) and they said he was all blushy and stuff. which is like perfect. i just wish i could have..you know..been there. maybe even have been the person to tell him. but whatever.

i got so inspired that i invited him over tonight to hang out with a couple people. he wasn't allowed to come due to ice and stuff.......but i think he would have.

and he knows. and he blushed. that's happy. wooo!

Sitting. Waiting.

i hate tests.
i hate school.
but i like going becuz i get to see my friends.
i hate cold.
but i love snow.
and snow days.
and snow men.
until after the new year.
then i hate snow.
i hate it when you're texting and your fingers are moving really fast and then you look up and realize you missed the space button. or it just simply does not make sense.
i hate when i can't find my glasses.
without my contacts.
becuz i'm blind.
but it's ok. becuz i hate my glasses.
i hate not knowing things.
not things like why is the sky blue
when will the world end
or things like the square root of the fifth sine minus 3i divided by the quantity 78!y.
i hate not knowing what another person's thinking.
but i love the moment when you find out.
and it's what you hoped for.
and you're happy.

Tired of waiting

so missouri lost. and west virginina. bucks are in. with LSU, but who cares who they play.
and this year's our year. i can feel it.

emily and jrod DID have a good time saturday nite. which is great.
it really wasn't that cold yesterday. except it rained A LOT. so it was kinda miserable. and then it was cold today. but oh well. what can i expect. it's winter lol.

then there's this whole thing with that certain guy.......hmmm. i was thinking that i should take it up a notch. i gave him the "we should hang out" line. and that got us talking a lot more. but we haven't gotten the chance to do that. maybe i should randomly throw into one of our conversations that i like him.

hey um...i kinda like you. yeah. that's all. see you tomorrow.

that could be bad lol. but you never know. it could help figure things our a lot faster, compared to sitting around waiting for him to turn into prince charming and rescue the damsel in distress. helllllo??? this is 2007. women do what they want. including me.

maybe i'll say something. the worst he can say is we're just friends. :)

I hope

-mizzou loses tonight.
or west virginia.
that means OSU will go to the national championship game.
and that would be amazing.

-emily and jrod had a good time on their date tonight.
she's liked him for forever, and he was so cute when he was planning the whole thing.

-it's not too cold tomorrow.
i want it to snow
but i don't like being cold.
especially when my car doesn't heat up very fast.

-i get to hang out with him sometime soon.
messaging each other everyday
and flirting is one thing.
actually taking the step to go
one-on-one
could make this bird
take flight.

Boys like girls

but who says he likes me?
i need to find this out.
it's killing me.