A little Advice Straight From Me to You

Due to my recent reading of one of my lovelys' blogs, it has come to my attention that I'm not the only one who reads into the whole "self-confidence when confronting the opposite sex" issue. It can, in certain instances I would be willing to bet, run your life in ways that can be overwhelming, and I feel an outstanding urge to write about it.

So......boys boys boys. Hm.....so much fun and yet..no, they're just fun!! But while they're always fun and keeping you on your toes, I think everyone has at one point or another felt lack of confidence and inferiority when around them. We just want to be accepted, it's as simple as pie-it just takes the first few uncomfortable situations to deal with it and get over it.

Take me for instance. Before John, I was prolly one of the shyest people ever to walk the earth...at least with guys I liked. I mean, yeah, there was a little pressure to fit in and not screw up, but I got along with guys as regular friends and so I felt comfortable in that sense. John and his deciding to like me was a totally differnt thing. I mean, I always felt I had to be a certain way, like I almost had to pretend and messing up in front of him was not even an option. The whole relationship had me apologizing and redoing things, and it pretty much (now that I think about it) sucked. And believe me, I was never the initiator. He definitely had to kiss me first if anything was gonna happen...if he didn't, we'd still be where we were, sitting there holding hands, both thinking about a kiss, but neither really having the guts or timing for it.

Then it was Peter. Well, there wasn't much room for hesistation on my part, he never really had to be the initiator....if he wanted to hold my hand, he'd grab it..if he wanted to kiss me, all he had to do was pull me in..he wasn't nervous or hesitant..........therefore neither was I. Basically, he did everything.

Now.....(sigh..hehe) I have Andy. Oh boy. I love the boy to death, he's prolly the best thing that's happened to me...but he would not, I repeat WOULD NOT take any sort of "first steps"...I mean, it's like he knew what he was doing, he just needed that little push to get him going. I gave him his first kiss....literally. I kissed him...and even though he definitely kissed me back, I had to get him headed in the right direction. And when you think about it, it's a good thing, cuz he won't try to get fresh with me or anything......if he would try I'd prolly die from a heartattack anyway....it'd be so surprising....so yeah.

Getting right down to it, it IS hard to get into the habit of it being natural. And it can be frustrating. Believe me, I know there have been times that I've kicked myself over my stupid little mistakes and errors and times that I "could've-should've-would've" and needless to say didn't. But think, this is trial and error, and in order to be better, you've got to get worse.....you've got to actually fall before you rise.

And as a shout out to you my lovely......just go for it. Kiss him. From what I've been told, guys dig the bold girls, the ones not afraid to take a risk. And ya know....I waited like 3 weeks into our relationship (me and Andy) before I kissed him....and it's not like I didn't want to. I was just afraid of the actual challenge, the surge of adrenaline.......the fact I'd have to do it. And I only wish I had done it sooner. ;D

Love you all, and I hope this has proven an inspirational and intriguing story. Maybe it'll help in future predicaments!!! Kisses!!!