Switchblade Ending

crawling to my corner i cry
weeping only on the inside
mourning lost loves and dead goodbyes
why can't anything last

sucking air through screaming throats
thoughts tripping over those little notes-
reminders of what i used to have
so frustrated how my present is only haunted by past..

and maybe
turning around and pretending to be
something i'm not
might not
end up so bad after all-
i could fool them all..
it's better than a switchblade ending...

and i know this is best
better you than me i guess...

picking dried-over scabs
of old tired sores
never does any good, as everyone knows,
yet i find myself rubbing the blister raw..

forcing my smile to shine through
it may not seem fake to you
but of course, wasn't that my goal
to be like a clown, above all misery..

and maybe
turning around and pretending to be
something i'm not
might not
end up so bad after all-
i could fool then all..
it's better than a switchblade ending..

and i know this is best
better you than me i guess...

so let's pretend..
and not end
with a switchblade..