I Have No

friends. just people that talk shit about me.
ok so i lied. i have a couple people.
amanda. brandon...on good days. zac h. jarrod. maria when i get to see her. (i love you babes)
but mostly i feel alone.
severely
and clinically depressed.

like tonight. tonight was not good. pretty much sucked. but anyways...
i hung out with zac, parent and mcB soooo it turned out ok.
and there's this random ass guy who's texting me. i'm pretty much telling him my life story. don't ask me why. he wanted to know i guess. but it's nice to vent.

speaking of venting, brandon and i got into a fight last night. it was his last night before leaving and going back to purdue, and instead of spending time with his best friend, he decided to go over to minster to *probably* get blown by some whore. i got mad because you know......i don't have very many people. and i miss him, so having him home is really nice. i told him how i felt, how he tells me i'm one of the most important people in his life, and then makes me feel anything but important. so we yelled. and cried. and laughed a little because i can't really stay mad at him. in the end though, i was still upset, and i left, while he went to minster to visit the slobbering slut-face. i texted him a bunch, wanted to talk some more, but he didn't answer me all night, or today.

but about 20 mins ago, he called. i, in my confused state, said
**so why are you calling me?
~~(long pause)......excuse me?
**you haven't called me once while you've been at college just to talk
~~well maybe i want to now. ok.

weird. i think he felt bad. maybe he didn't. but i'm gonna go with the guilty conscience idea.

anywho..........i'm getting tired. it's late. and i gotta work tomorrow. shit. *sigh*
to anyone who still reads this insanity blog - have a good life. hope it's better than mine.