What I Wanna Do

when you take me
by the hand
i can't help but smile-
my little girl smile..
all to myself
so you can't see me blushing.
maybe it's silly to act
young and innocent in your arms
but i can't stop it
i can't block this feeling


i wanna dance with you
til the sun awakes,
wanna hold you tight
i'll do whatever it takes
i wanna sing
and laugh
and kiss you in the rain.
i wanna feel you close to me once again


i get so frustrated
when i fall asleep in bed
cuz you're not with me,
i have to dream of you instead
and i know that this sounds crazy
i just like it when you're near
and i can't block this feeling


i wanna dance with you
til the sun awakes
wanna hold you tight
i'll do whatever it takes
i wanna sing
and laugh
and kiss you in the rain.
i wanna feel you close to me once again


so let's runaway
so far away
live a life all of our own.
or stay right here
with me my dear
it doesn't matter much to me
your eyes are all i want to see


i wanna dance with you
til the sun awakes
wanna hold you tight
i'll do whatever it takes
i wanna sing
and laugh
and kiss you in the rain.
i wanna feel you close to me once again

Your Fault

is it such a bad thing
that i'm addicted to you
much like a drug
that takes over one's obsession.
it's the grasping
gasping
clasping of each other
that makes you harder to let go.
i would shed my skin
if only to get closer
nearer
for a tighter grip on you-
my growing habit,
my constant craving.
it could be unhealthy
to have such a need
for such a person-
i blame it on you ;)

Time Of Day

it's in the way
you kiss my nose
and whisper when no one's around.
then pull me close
on top of you
and love me without a sound.

do you know that
my favorite time of day
is lying next to you?
compared with everything else-
it's still all that i want to do

i feel so light
like flying high
when your hand holds onto mine.
and our past-time
of making out
has got to be the best kind.

do you know that
my favorite time of day
is lying next to you?
compared with everything else-
it's still all that i want to do

the way you tease
and flirt with ease-
it makes me smile,
please stay awhile-
i don't want this to end..
so come over here and lay
cuz your my favorite time of day

His Take on Things

-when i said that i loved you i meant it i will fight for our love. i want to be with you.
i love you.

that's what he says to my questioning thoughts about next year. kinda cheesy in a way, but sweet and perfect. it helps me get through the day :)

It Frightens Me

did you know
that when i sit down to think of next year
i get scared?
i never used to have that feeling
maybe because it was farther away
opposed to only a few short months
maybe it's because
i never had someone so close to me
and i didn't have to think of leaving them behind.
family, though i'll miss them desperatly,
is here to stay with me
no matter what
but you?
you could leave
step back whenever
for too many reasons i
don't want to think about.
right now
together
looking in your eyes i know
i've never been happier
or more at ease
or more complete
with anyone.
and i could bet you feel the same
but.
feelings change
you know?
and my greatest fear is you deciding that
feelings aren't enough
when i'm miles away.
i'd love to think that
you're going to be my best friend
for the rest of my life
but i just get so
scared.
after getting so wrapped up in you
so soon
i don't think i could bear having to let you go
if you let me go.
but you say you love me.
and i know that it's true.
i can only pray that it holds
because i love you too

Thoughts

it's days like these that i sit and think and i'm happy and sad rolled into one.

it was gorgeous out. actually it still is. 70 degrees..sunny. with a breeze. i love it when i let my cat out and watch her as she sprawls on the hot sidewalk, rolling over and over in the sun. looking at her lately, i wonder how much longer she'll last, and know that i'll pry be 3 hours away when she decides to leave us.

school seems like such a joke right now. not meaning it's easy by any means, if only it could be. with four or five weeks left of life that i call high school shit, i feel kinda nostalgic. leaving the comfort of a building i know everything about is kinda unnerving. i haven't decided if i'm going to pursue band at OU, so these last weeks here could be my last few with regular music classes. who knows. everything is so unpredictable and unknown.

and i mean, this past year all i've wanted is to leave, escape, forget all that is st. marys. i've hated the drama, the judging eyes, the whispering rumors and hurtful words of the past 4 years. i've hated feeling secondhand, not good enough, the one that everyone pretends to like every once in a while, but most of the time gets cold shoulders.

i've been trying to enjoy my last few months here. and i have for the most part. the underlying thought that i won't have to sit through the same thing everyday over and over soon helps a lot. but people help too.

this sounds absolutely terrible, but the less i hang out with the people from high school, the more i like them. but sensibly, when i'm not around them all the time, i don't hear about all the dramatic details, and i have a chance to love them for their innocent, brilliant, funny moments rather than their weaker moments. everyone gets caught up in drama, we just don't wanna be remembered for it.

i think about trent a lot. he's pretty much the only thing that gets me by, and that's no exaggeration. i look forward to about 9 o'clock, monday thru friday, about 20 minutes into 2nd period, when he usually texts me saying something like hey pretty girl, or good morning sweetheart. i am able to keep myself awake in calculus on those days when i know at 3 o'clock i'll be leaving to go to his house for awhile. i live for the weekends, my break into the real life versus the monotony i experience otherwise. and the weekends are filled with trent, and his friends, and his family.

a lot of people say that i'm too busy hanging out with my boyfriend to spend time with them. but honestly, while i'm with trent, making friendships with his brother, with college buds, rodeo buds, and of course building our own relationship, i don't worry about whether the people from school gossip and hate me, and i love them for them, not hate them for their words.

and you know, when i'm with trent, or when i talk with him on the phone, or even when i'm bored and find myself looking at the "hard ass" pictures he's sent me on my phone, i consider myself to be one of the luckiest people in the world. sure, i don't know what i'm gonna do with my life, beyond starting off in athens down south. i don't know how i'm gonna pay for college, or how i'll deal with leaving my family and friends for new faces. i don't know where i'm gonna end up in 10 years but i do know that i'm so amazingly happy when i'm with him, and that love isn't even close to describing how i feel.

it's darker now. but still decent outside, with a sweatshirt. the breakfast club is on tv, and my mom and i will sit down to watch dancing with the stars soon. then we'll discuss and critique. i'll take a shower. eat some crackers. trent will call me, and i'll go to sleep.

summer is going to be perfect. learning how to swim, and pry doing it often. going to the drive in and not making it through the entire movie without a kiss or two. lying on the grass with blankets, staring at the stars. and he'll be there. and i can't wait.

My Boy

i sit down
and think of you-
i get goosebumps on my skin.
and oh the way
you stand so close,
i feel the desire from within.


have i ever felt this way,
so strong-
go anywhere, i'd come along
is it possible to think
that i could be the one for you
and if that's true..
it's safe to say you're perfect for me too


you kiss my nose
breathe in my ear,
i gasp as you delicately tease.
from the look in your eyes,
and grip from your hands
you entrance me with passionate ease.


have i ever felt this way,
so strong-
go anywhere, i'd come along
is it possible to think
that i could be the one for you
and if that's true..
it's safe to say you're perfect for me too

i hope it's true
i think, don't you?
and yes, you're perfect for me too.