Stuck

i wish i was happy.
sometimes i am. but it never lasts.
because when i get happy
it's usually when i'm with friends
laughing
or with trent.
but in the back of my mind i
realize that i'm gonna leave
all this behind
and go where i'm afraid to
go.
so with that smile
i hide a tear
so people don't worry
or ask what's wrong.
sometimes i wish they would
ask-
there's so much
that no one knows
but then again
i don't know if i have the
words
or the courage
to say them.
so i'm alone.