Thinking

i sometimes wonder if he knows how often i think about him.
i wouldn't say it's constant, but a lot. sometimes i know that i'm thinking about him, especially when i see something that reminds me, or when someone brings him up in a conversation.

other times i'll absent-mindedly flip open my phone to look for a text i know i haven't gotten. search through old messages to let my eyes rest once more upon words that make my lips curl into smile. look at pictures he's sent just so i can look at his eyes.

at times i feel so stupid though. mostly in times like these, when i'm miles - hours - away and haven't seen him. because then my thoughts dwell more and i'm more tempted to text.

i wish i could tell him how i always have an itch to fly my fingers over those phone-buttons to message him. i wish i could tell him that there are countless times in a day i'll start a message, then stop because i don't wanna seem overwhelming. then how when i do text, it's because the urge is too strong, and that a simple "lol" makes my heart jump.

it's been 6 months as of monday, and it's so silly of me to still catch my breath my the cell vibrates, hoping it's him. or to realize that the second i leave his house, or he leaves mine, miss him.

god. i have issues lol.
and, i need to get home soon. this over-the-phone stuff sucks.