21 Days and Counting

soo at this point i'm realizing how close i am to my *goal*. i'm headin towards the end of my 8th week of classes. after friday, i only have 2 more weeks of classes and 3 days of finals, and i'm busting out of athens like a jailbird set free.

course, i've got some speed bumps in the way. 10 page dance paper, presentation on the zulu tribe....a few tests thrown in before finals. BUT i'm going up to SM on friday, and back up there the weekend after that. thennnn once i'm home i'll be scheduling for classes!!

basically, i'm just biding time. and praying that i don't have to take care of a vomitting roommate the weekend before finals......ugh.

i'm really excited about being home. i'm even more excited about seeing trent :) this is gonna be great. i wish march 18th would get here faster..

My Lifeline

i don't know what it is
that will happen
between you and i
but i know that whatever
the matter
we'll fly to the sky.
and i can't see the future
or what it might bring
but the smile on your face
is all the i need
to survive
i can't survive
without you.

i dream of a lifetime
with laughter
and love everywhere.
and i want something more
something greater-
i'll get it with you there.
no i can't give you facts
and i can't tell you why
but the touch of your hand
is all that i need
to survive
i can't survive
without you.

there aren't any words
for all that i wish for
but one thing i know
that i need
is your hand in mine
and our hearts intertwined
that's all
i need
to survive
i can't survive
without you.

so promise you'll love me
til the end of all time
and be mine.
let's be blinded with love
and live in laughter
happily ever after
for ever after.
i wish you could know
how i wish for this so
but i guess that
we'll just have to wait.

but stay with me please
i'll get down on my knees
to keep you here
to survive.
i can't survive
without you.

On the Brink of (?)

while being as stressed as i have been lately, i'm quite sure it's a miracle i'm still alive. i'm on the edge about anything OSU...waiting for letters, needing to make appointments. and i have all these exams. annd i don't wanna be here.

on top of it all, i worry about trent. he's killing himself trying to find any sort of job, and nothing has come through for months. not having money freaks him out (not that i blame him, not having money freaks me out too) and he's one of those people that HAS to be busy. i mean, he likes to chill, but when he's sitting around all day it drives him crazy. and i call him and try to make me smile, or laugh, and i just feel so helpless becuz sometimes i feel as if even i don't help anymore. there's not much i can do 3 hours away, and even when i'm at home sometimes i feel like i'm just not cutting it.

idk...we're just all worried about the future. finding jobs. paying back loans. somehow. what happened to my childhood? what happened to a carefree life???

people have to grow up so fast nowadays..

It's Already February..

it's a gorgeous day. sun's out, everything's melting.
i hate how i cried when trent left today. he's left before, i've left before. it's not like the first time, the day before i left to come here in september that first time, scared and nervous, and he left to go to school that evening. i cried for 30 mins...missing him aready.

this week of school will be the 5th week. meaning i'll be taking midterms at the end of this week and beginning of next. meaning i'm about halfway through this quarter. meaning i'm weeks away from coming home.

don't get me wrong - it's what i want. i'm so excited about moving home, coming home, to my family, to trent. i feel complete when i'm home. i guess right now, not knowing WHEN i'll be home, or WHEN i'll see them is what scares me.

i just pray that i can have the strength to deal with this for a little longer. about 6 weeks-ish.

god....i miss him already..