So lucky....too lucky..

I am not worthy of him.....I've come to that conclusion. What have I done to deserve him?

He is sooo kind....he calls me all the time...sometimes for no reason. Like, he'll call me when he's in the video store, asking for advice on what movie to rent...or in the supermarket, deciding what flavor of koolaid to buy...he might be on his way to a doctor's appointment, or on his way back from soccer...he might be with his family, but he just wanted to make sure I had a good day. Then again, he'll call when he needs to...like when he knows I'm down about something, depressed over my own problems...maybe he'll write me a song, and sing it to me, play me something on his guitar...or just talk...it doesn't matter. He is always there.....

And he writes me emails daily...seeing as how we don't have any classes together except for band...you would think that might hinder things...but no, he goes out of his way to see me, and I just don't understand why. What have I ever done to get a guy like him...I ask myself that so many times...

I'm so lucky....almost too lucky......I'm so afraid that I'm gonna do something that'll screw everything up, ruin this and then he'll leave. I don't know.....maybe not....it's just weird....I know I've said this before....he's different than John...I don't know, it's confusing, and I can guess that anyone who reads this might not understand....but he is.

He's taking me to see Star Wars on friday.....I can't wait til then....

(By the way, 8 more days!!!)

**of school that is...