I think it's love...
Is it possible for me to love him?
I know that we were never really official...I know that it was "supposed" to be a secret. And, now, I know that at this time....we're not really anything..he's "stepping back to think it over"....
I guess I never really thought about the actual thing...love...
With John it was one of those things where I figured it would just come to me...I know that might sound awful, but it's true. And I do think after a certain time I did love him.
With Peter...we haven't had a chance to be open about "us", we haven't been able to truly own the title of "us" now that I think about it. I mean we did, but privately...
When I used to think of him, I would get butterflies, but not nervous ones. I was never nervous around Peter...I felt so comfortable, so free with him. No matter what was going on, I would smile, picturing his face, his laugh, his own smile....and now when I think of him, I start to cry, or become depressed because I don't know how he feels, or if I'm allowed to feel this way.
And to top it all off, I think I love him.
You know, some people think you can't love this young...it just doesn't happen. That's for older people. But in all honesty, where's the line drawn? How old do you have to be exactly? There is no age limit, is there?
Puppy love some may call it...ha...ok sure.
But when I think of Peter, when I see his face in my mind's eye, I feel so strange. There is no word to describe it...there really isn't. (Believe me, sitting here, I would type some words, the erase, type and erase...nothing can suffice for the actual feeling.)
I can't write it out.....but I can feel it. It's as close as air, as vast as a sea. It's as strong and fast as a gust of wind, and as gentle as a summer breeze. All my senses come alive, and at least for that moment, with him, or seeing him, or even imagining him...I know things will be alright, I know everything will work out.
Things right now, although he isn't sure about continuing this through...well, I feel the same way I did before, despite the pain and the hurt I have now.
If this isn't love, then what is......tell me that.
2 Comments:
Awww, Sarah. You're right, there is no age limit for love. It just happens.
I'm sorry Peter is being like this. I really don't like to see you all upset like this. My MSN has been being dumb, and I miss not getting a chance to talk to you. Maybe I'll call you sometime and we'll have a girl's (well, Megan and Sarah) night out. :)
11:56 PM
Like Megan said, there's no age limit on love. I fell in love three years ago and I'm just now trying to escape it. People say love is wonderful. Personally, I think it's horrible. Hah. I hope things start working in your favor, though.
11:57 PM
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