Ha, good luck to ya.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

An Endless Mind Reel

am i being dumb?
i shouldn't say
screw it
should i?
that would be like giving in
to life
and all the little ways it
lets you down.
then again, i almost feel like if i sit and let everything happen
with me in the middle
once again
allowing everything to wash over me
without trying in the slightest to just
make myself feel better
then that would be like giving up
letting go
succumbing
quitting
right?
although saying screw it entirely would i guess be
reckless
considering i'm a thoughtful person -
meaning i think things through
pry too much, but that's just me.
i want control
i want happiness
i want to love
and be loved
i want compassion
and friendship
and companionship
i want the nervous butterflies
and everything else that comes with love.
i wanted that with a certain someone for so long
and even now i'm not sure if some of that lingers
but i'm lonely
and i'm tired of it
should i just say
fuck it all?
i just don't know..

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