I. Hate. Myself.
Hello everyone. I've had a pretty fair day today. Ok, I lied. It was awful, I'm so stupid and I can't believe the things I do sometimes.
So for our band trip we have to sign up for out seat partners, right? Well, for the longest time I jsut assumed it would be John....he was my boyfriend. Duh.
But after he broke up with me I thought about that, and I'm thinking...ok, there's one person that I know that doesn't have a partner yet, she's rooming with me, so what's the big deal, I can choose her. What's wrong with this idea?
I CAN'T STAND HER...period.
She used to be a good friend but now I can't stand her and i already have to room with her, sitting with her on the way there would be torture. AND, I still wanted to sit with John. What to do!?
Well, I sat for awhile, pondering this. He might not want to sit with me, he just broke up with me. But maybe he's in a simliar place as me, and doesn't know anyone else to sit with. After much thought, I decide I should prolly ask him.
SO, I get up to ask him, he goes off in another direction, and the other girl (let's call her Ann) gets to me first and asks me outright.
(Another thing about this Ann....I haven't told her I can't stand her anymore yet, so she still thinks I'm still a close friend.)
I say yes...much to my later pain, discomfort, and depression do I regret.
BECAUSE, we go to sign up, and I hear him talking about not knowing who to sit with.
HUH????????????????????????????????? definitely had to check that out.
It turns out he didn't have anyone to sit with. I go "Hey, you don't have a partner?" He says "No, would you like to sit with me?"
OHMIGOD!!! DID HE JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE SAID?? HE WANTS TO SIT WITH ME!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! (big smiles)
But, as everyone knows, nothing really ever goes how I plan them. Remember, Annoying Ann??
So I tell him I had waited to see if he would ask me because I didn't think he'd want to sit with me anymore, and he says no, he'd love to.
Then I break the news that since he never said anything, Ann asked and I had to say yes, seeing as he hadn't said anything. He goes "Well ok...I'm sorry" and walks off.
Now, Annoying Ann witnesses all this, and knows very well that I had been wanting so badly to sit with him. She stands there saying "You really wanted to sit with him didn't you?"
HELLO?? DUH!! YOU'VE HEARD ME GO ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM STILL AND MISS HIM, ADORE HIM...YADDA YADDA.
She stands there then, and after about 10 minutes decides she could always sit near us, so I could sit with him. YAY!! HOPE!!
Haha...like I've said once, twice, now three times..NOTHING EVER WORKS FOR ME.
I go over to him and tell him our plan. Then he drops the ultimate wors bomb. "I went and found someone to sit with since you said you were with Ann."
There. Now, go, log off, do whatever, but think about this, and think about what a loser/idiot/retard I am feeling like right about now. I think I want to die.
1 Comments:
Ahhh, I'm so sorry, sweetie. I hate situations like that. I think you need to tell this Ann what you really feel. It's not healthy for you to keep it bottled up inside. The longer you keep it bottled up, the more easily irritated you'll become and eventually just blow up at her, which is something you'll both regret.
And if you really don't like her that much, come and visit in our room. I think our room is going to be the official party room, anyway. :p
7:33 PM
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