Ha, good luck to ya.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

So fast!! So happy!! So confused...?

Am I a bad person? I've been wondering this all day, and at the end of last night too. What I'm about to say in this entry might shock some people.....I haven't actually declared it. I didn't want to for awhile...I didn't want to believe myself, my feelings. But now I do...and I'm not sure what to do.

See, ok, I have this guy friend. Let's say his name is Peter. Now, I just met him this year. and we've gotten to be really good friends. Well, about 2 weeks before John broke up with me, his girlfriend broke up with him. We talked so much, I was there for him when he was down, and he was there in those last few weeks before my breakup to comfort me when I was so doubting and depressed. After John got rid of me, Peter stood by me even more, if possible. We talked everyday at school and every night on MSN. Now, about the time when he and his girlfriend broke up, I started to get this feeling when I was around him....that perhaps I liked him.

I know, I know, it's wrong. I was still going out with John. But John wasn't there for me anymore, Peter was, and I was closer to Peter then than I was with John. But I still knew it was wrong, so I tried to banish my feelings, and I didn't tell a soul. I forced myself into thinking, no, John is for me...I can't feel this way for Peter.

Now John is gone...and though I missed him, Peter was there. Like I said in the previous entry, I'm over John. So last night Peter called and wanted to go and see a movie. I tried to think nothing of it...I was under the impression he was still getting over him ex...so I lost hope of him possibly having these feelings for me too.

We go to the movies, and sit down, and start talking. Nothing seems weird...nothing at all....but then the movie starts. His arm in on the arm rest, and his hand is dangling down. So, after a few minutes, I feel his fingertips touch my leg. At first I get excited, but then I think it's prolly accidental. But, no. He reaches for my hand and we end up holding hands the whole movie.

Afterward, he tells me that he's liked me ever since about 2 weeks after his breakup....he was already over his girlfriend...and he wanted to say something to me about it but I seemed stuck on my ex. I told him that I had been feeling things too. But then I had to go home...and so many other problems are there too.

If anyone who reads this knows who I'm talking about, please don't say anything. I don't know what's going to come out of this...but I don't want to spread it around til I know. Thanks....

But...yeah. It's been so fast...and I'm happy....like thrilled...but confused. Is this wrong? Am I a bad person?????

2 Comments:

Blogger ~Shibby~ said...

I really hope my advice helped. I don't know if it was specific enough for you, but that's what has seemed to work best for me in the past. Like I said before, you're always welcome to talk to me about anything and I'll try to help the best I can! I hope everything works out for you. Keep me posted!

1:01 PM

 
Blogger Megan said...

No, your not a bad person. No it wasn't wrong. I think this is perfectly fine...in fact, I think it's good for you. Especially with everything that's been told to you this past week. I hope things work out for the best!

9:43 PM

 

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