I'm sorry...

you don't know me. or at least, you used to. you used to know everything about me - every move i would make, every face to go along with every phrase, you knew it. and i knew you. we were inseperable. and no matter who waltzed in and out of my life, i thought that nothing could change that.

obviously, i was wrong. because i, once again, went against everything you advised me, and did the unthinkable. i turned my back on you and everything we had and did what i thought, at the time, was right. we both know how my decisions end up though...in tears and long phones calls with you....

i know i pissed you off. and i know that you've asked me so many times why, why did i do it, after everything, why..

even though i hate admitting it, it was jealousy. jealousy and frustration that after everything, i still wasn't good enough for you. maybe i never was...maybe i never will be...

valentines day is soon. and even though we had almost severed ties, i still have dreams about you, and i find myself looking at your pictures and missing you. you drive me crazy, sometimes i absolutely can't stand you. at times you seem so annoying, you could drive me up a wall...and yet, i still laugh at all your jokes, key the same old phrases with you, and when we're alone, things seem to fall back into place.

remember those long nights when we'd sit in your car? the first time i got grounded.....and us just sitting there listening to konstantine, thinking, wishing....



And if this is what it takes
Just to lie in my mistakes
And live with what I did to you
And all the things I put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
It's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine


did you know i miss you? if only it wasn't too late..